Ok...still adjusting my attitude, but freaking out a little bit.
My Re's office suggested that I schedule my OB apt - you know the one that I've never made it to...the you're actually, probably going to have a live baby one...(they suggest this to everyone after two good Betas)
So I did call, which was good because my OB books up early as I remember and come to find out she only works two days a week now and is even harder to book...
Two things. I love her, and she handled my ectopic and miscarriages with so much compassion and care that I have some deep feelings of respect and a little love, as odd as that sounds, for her. BUT...I am afraid to go back there...to go back to her...I mean as far as pregnancy goes she's only given me bad news....and that sort of erases the 10+ years of great Gyne care I got from her..I know it wasn't her fault but I picture myself getting US in her office and my whole body feels how bad it felt to get the bad news. All over again.
I think I need to find another OB but then again am I over reacting? I also really want her level of care. I need someone who knows and understands what I've been through and she does.
Look at me future planning....that's Anxiety attack #2. Spoke to OB's office and scheduled a 10 week apt. Which should be fine as I would graduate at about 8 from RE (who I also love). Lovely nurse who called me back from OB suggested I attend the OB orientation class....on what to expect at my apts and what to do now to ensure a healthy pregnancy etc...and while I know a lot more than most newly pregnants, it sounded lovely...and I was excited for a moment...so I booked it....the evening of my US on 10/12....hence my anxiety....what was I thinking?
I go back and forth between "Who do I think I am future planning." to "We promised ourselves we were going to go forward as if everything is going to work out and not burden this time with negativity"
I am trying...I am really trying to do what I need to do but I have to admit...it is scary no matter how many attitude adjustments I make. It's just plain scary.
Just a note - somehow t.a.r.g.e.t knows I am pregnant....I got a big book of baby coupons from them....what on earth?