Sunday, July 21, 2013

Incomplete - Update

Fridays apt went from bad to worse.  The nurse took my blood pressure and then said "I have to apologize, we didn't get a big enough sample in your pap smear so we have to do it again."  I said, "I didn't have a pap smear I had a miscarriage.  Are you sure you have the right patient?"  Then she proceeded to argue with me.  I think I know what I was there for.  Then she said they must have given her the wrong information when they pulled my file...whatever.  I was already over it at that point.  Just wanted the hoo hoo cam to show I was done with the miscarriage.

So Dr came in, I didn't bring DH...that's how confident I was that things had resolved.  I didn't look at the screen.  The last thing I want to look at is my now empty uterus.  Except then she made a negative sound so I looked up and lo and behold stuff.  Lining and placenta.  F.  So she proceeds to talk about sticking some sort of endometrial biopsy tool up there to disrupt the lining so it will come out and I'm thinking...ok if she's talking about doing it now it can't be that painful.  Then she asks if I took Vicodin before coming in.  Why would I have?  I was so confused.  Then she was assuming DH was in the waiting rm.  It was a complete fiasco.  We ended up with me leaving and waiting another week to see if I can pass it myself and then next Friday I have to go back with DH and doped up on Vicodin.  Fantastic. 

I walked out to the desk to make Fridays apt.   Made it out into the hall to the bathroom and proceeded to sob in there for a good few minutes.  I was so loud a kind lady asked if I was ok.  I said yes but I truly wasn't.

Spent time with DH's family today.  Who I know he told what had happened.  Not one person asked how I was doing or anything.  In fact when one did say how's it going?  and I said alright, I got an "Only alright?"  Yeah only alright.  That's the best I can do right now.  It will never cease to amaze me how completely horrific this situation is to me and how easy it is for people to just blow it off like it's a hang nail or something.  My mind kept flashing bitter...like a big neon sign.

4 comments:

Jen said...

Oh, Jennifer...I am so sorry this is happening and I so understand how you must be feeling. So, sad that others just don't get it. I pray that things will resolve on their own and you won't have to go anything more than what you have been thru already. Big hugs and remember first and foremost take care of you.

hardtobehuman said...

Crap. I am so sorry this is dragging on for you. I hope you will actually be better than alright soon, bur I give a giant middle finger to anyone who doesn't realize that you truly couldn't and shouldn't be expected to even be alright right now. The gall of some people is so perplexing, not to mention infuriating and just plain wrong.

Augusta said...

All of this = very, very crappy. I'm very sorry that the m/c is dragging out like this. Insult to injury. A load of salt in a big gaping wound. I'm so sorry.
And the In laws. Oh, what to say about such ridiculously out of touch people. I would have been just as livid as you were. People just don't get it and sometimes don't even want to get it. I"m so sorry Jennifer.

conceptionallychallenged said...

Oh no. I'm so sorry you have to go through this extra pain, both the physical and the emotional from insensitive in-laws.
Sending many good thoughts your way.