Fridays apt went from bad to worse. The nurse took my blood pressure and then said "I have to apologize, we didn't get a big enough sample in your pap smear so we have to do it again." I said, "I didn't have a pap smear I had a miscarriage. Are you sure you have the right patient?" Then she proceeded to argue with me. I think I know what I was there for. Then she said they must have given her the wrong information when they pulled my file...whatever. I was already over it at that point. Just wanted the hoo hoo cam to show I was done with the miscarriage.
So Dr came in, I didn't bring DH...that's how confident I was that things had resolved. I didn't look at the screen. The last thing I want to look at is my now empty uterus. Except then she made a negative sound so I looked up and lo and behold stuff. Lining and placenta. F. So she proceeds to talk about sticking some sort of endometrial biopsy tool up there to disrupt the lining so it will come out and I'm thinking...ok if she's talking about doing it now it can't be that painful. Then she asks if I took Vicodin before coming in. Why would I have? I was so confused. Then she was assuming DH was in the waiting rm. It was a complete fiasco. We ended up with me leaving and waiting another week to see if I can pass it myself and then next Friday I have to go back with DH and doped up on Vicodin. Fantastic.
I walked out to the desk to make Fridays apt. Made it out into the hall to the bathroom and proceeded to sob in there for a good few minutes. I was so loud a kind lady asked if I was ok. I said yes but I truly wasn't.
Spent time with DH's family today. Who I know he told what had happened. Not one person asked how I was doing or anything. In fact when one did say how's it going? and I said alright, I got an "Only alright?" Yeah only alright. That's the best I can do right now. It will never cease to amaze me how completely horrific this situation is to me and how easy it is for people to just blow it off like it's a hang nail or something. My mind kept flashing bitter...like a big neon sign.