Cautious

I don't know what is going on...it's seriously messing with my mind.

I haven't had a cycle this long in over a year.

I tested again yesterday morning with the stupid test that is supposed to tell you six days early. Still negative.

I still haven't gotten my period and my boobs are getting sore now.

I am probably just having a long cycle, or maybe I didn't ovulate at all and it is throwing things off but it's really messing with my head. I go back and forth between maybe I am and the test was wrong, or I ovulated really late...and realizing that the test should have probably picked something up by now right?

Ugh..so annoying. I am very impatient. I keep trying to relax and forget about it. I decided not to even test today and I might not even test tomorrow. Maybe just wait until it's really really late and then maybe I will believe the negative result and not still wonder.

So I am still holding.

The other pain in the neck thing is that work wants me to go overseas to asia to do some training and I want to know if I am or am not pregnant because if I am I can't go where they want me to go on the off chance that I have another ectopic or miscarriage and because of the vaccinations I'd need etc. So I need to get that figured out. If I'm not and I have to go it will also throw off the next month of trying - we will have to wait until I get back. So here I am again with this mess impacting my work. They are not going to be happy if I say I can't go...of course that won't keep me from hoping that I am pregnant....Hoping and Hoping and Hoping that this mind F*&K has a positive outcome...sorry if that offends anyone...I'm a bit frazzled.