My hate for statistics is not a new one. I failed my statistics class in college. Eeek. I just didn't get it...and the second time around I didn't get it much better but at least I passed since it was a required course. Now being a computer science major with a minor in mathematics and failing stats is just downright embarassing. but it, stats, just doesn't make sense to my logical mind. Now some might say that stats are very logical....I disagree.
Today I hate stats just as much as I did back then but for a different reason. Although I am failing miserably at a whole new type of testing now.
I have a bunch of stats swirling around my head today...maybe if I spit them out here I can stop thinking about them.
Here's one I am struggling with. My risk of miscarriage is about 50% or more. That's ugly.
Here's another one. The chances of a woman concieving through IUI after age 40 is anywhere from 1.2% to 20% I've read. The upper end is with more follicles. Still not great.
At sart dot org it says that in a woman age 41 - 42 (which I will be at the time we do IVF) the Percentage of cycles resulting in live births is
12.3%. I am not sure what that means...12.3% of cycles or I have a 12.3% chance per cycle.
Genetic adverse outcomes risks with IVF are almost 5% if I am reading the chart correctly...
Downs Syndrome risks at age 42 (which I would be at birth of child which is how this is measured) 1 in 60 or 65 depending on where I read it.
It just all seems so futile. I started to do the hopeful thing last night, the "If I get a positive test next Wed, I can call and get bloodwork on Thursday and then get the second set on Saturday." and "It will be so fun to tell my mom we are pregnant over Thanksgiving" The hopefulness was short lived. It sort of hit me like a brick today.
I have a better chance of not being pregnant, and a better chance, if I do get pregnant, of miscarrying than the infinitely better outcome and it's so disheartening. I hate to be so negative and feel so helpless but it really will be a miracle if I get pregnant and give birth to a living child and I am not feeling miracles lately.