Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Ground.h.o.g day and only myself to blame.

Well here we are again and I have no one to blame but myself...and maybe the universe.

I have a hysteroscopy scheduled for june 23. Sonohystogram on Friday showed a polyp, fibroid, scar tissue type object. Not air bubbles as we were hoping.

She did the test 4 times..yes FOUR! I am allergic to ibuprofin so only had some extra strength tylenol in the system and I have to sucked big time.

The first time she didn't inflate the balloon on the catheter enough and it popped when she inserted the wandy. The second time same thing. Now I still had a full bladder because before the sono she had done the Cath check. Trying to check as many things off as we could. So on number three things were going ok but she couldn't really visualize well and she saw "something" down the hall I marched in my paper blanket with blood running down my legs...oh going in and out of my cervix so many times caused me to bleed. So I settled in for the fourth look and yep the shit was still there...some sort of intrusion into my previously cleaned up uterus...FUCK.

Why didn't I just do IVF when we were preparing for it last year? Why? Now my husband is all upset that I have to go under anesthesia again and he was already freaked out about everything that can go wrong with IVF. So instead of anyone calming me..I am calming him...I do love him but really? It's me having surgery. It's me that had the apt from hell last week.

Anyway - I went to an accupuncturist last night to get started and she gave me a diet to start...not happy about it. Monday I start the stomach massage and then the week after we do the accupuncture. The day of transfer they actually come to the IVF office and do accupuncture before and after..crazy. Of course this is a bunch more money. My husband said we were "hemhoraging money" I thought that was appropriate if a little bit morbid. I figure we give it one last blast and then I think I can be done, one way or another. I am still doing the meditation and I honestly feel like a happier person. I've even been know to giggle a bit.


bunny said...

Aaaaiiiieeee! I am so sorry to read about the experience you had, and super sorry to hear about the Groundhog Day experience. It must be intensely frustrating. Still, not doing IVF last year was surely the right choice at the time? I hope your husband gets to a place where he can be the supportive one, STAT. And I'm sooo impressed that, in spite of all this, you're feeling happier. That must take some serious work, for which I give you props.

AmyG said...

Aw, CRUD!! Blame the universe, for sure. You had your reasons for delaying the IVF. And, I'm with bunny - your husband had his moment to express his worry, now it's totally his turn to be the voice of calm support.

And the universe owes you a perfectly easy hysteroscopy on June 23rd.

linda said...

That sounds like the SHG from HELL!!! OMFG. Four times? Blood trickling down your legs? I am thanking the universe that I've never gone through an SHG like that. Whatever is in there, it shouldn't be in it's good for them to go in and take it out whether or not you are doing's just not a good idea to leave things in our uteri. LOL.

I, too, just had an SHG with a discovery of "something in there" and am waiting for AF so my surgery can be scheduled. Think of the bright side: At least you and I will never be one of those gals with grapefruit sized fibroids that were left undiscovered for years.