Monday, December 27, 2010

Opting in by not Opting out

I have something shocking to say, well it feels that way. We've been having unprotected s. e. x.

So I guess by not opting out of trying we are opted in this month. I really do NOT want to get back into it whole hog though and am really trying to go with the whole "whatever happens happens" mentality. It's working somewhat. I did pick up some ovulation predictors. I figured at least if I know I can know if we were close to hitting it, BUT I decided I will not pressure, ask, cajole or use any other method to get DH on a "schedule". If it happens it happens.

So there we stand. I am hoping I can not freak out the last two weeks of the cycle...and just stay with the "it's out of my hands" thoughts.

Still don't want to do IVF, just don't. It may not make sense, sometimes not even to me but it's what my gut says. Sometimes I beat myself up about being weak and then I remember how strong I've been for how long and I ease up on myself.

However, It's still a major topic of conversation. My hairdresser thinks I should ...because you know, a friend of a client's gotten pregnant twice so it's sure thing and I'd be crazy not to do it. ;) I guess if I didn't want to have these conversations down the line, I never should have brought it up in the first place right.

I think everyone IRL who knows about our IF is going to go through a struggle about where to put us now. I mean before we were infertile but going through infertility treatments. Now we are infertile and somewhat lost as to what to do next. We've fallen out of the box so to speak, floating around in free space. So I don't blame people for trying to put us back into that box. It's a little bit bewildering to be floating around, who knows where we might end up or what might happen.

To be continued.


CoffeeBlue said...

Hi. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I can relate to so much of what you've written on yours. I'm having mixed feelings about our decision to adopt. And sometimes I feel like a fake infertile in that we stopped before trying every last intervention possible. Lots of back and forth on decisions. But I gess that's part of being on this path. Wishing you lots of luck. I'll be following along.

AmyG said...

I share your perspective on IVF. I'm not at that decision-point, but I often feel like it's not the right thing for me and my family. It's so tough because people without IF experience tend to think it's a guaranteed path to a baby -- maybe because it's so high-tech.