One foot in front of the other...That's how it feels dealing with infertility. I just keep taking steps even though I want to go somewhere else, I keep walking down this path. I'm weary and the pack is getting heavy. The sun is beating down and I am running out of water. My bug spray is not working and I am surrounded by mosquitos. I've lost faith that I will get to camp with everyone else and feel I am weighing my team down.
I'm still trying to eat right, I fell off the wagon a bit but it was just some minor things. I struggle with not feeling like a failure. I went to class again this week and met another new member. All of the ladies are much younger than me..obviously it bothers me some..The learning to be present and observe but not judge aspects of the class are really helping me. I judge every aspect of my journey.
My favorite kitty has lymphoma. Oscar the cat. He started losing weight and the vet ran a battery of tests and that's what it is. He's continued to get skinnier. We have options for treatment but they guarantee nothing. He's an older kitty - 14 or 15 as far as I know. He's gotten me through more than one rough spot in my life and it is physically painful for me to see him get weaker. His passing may be one of the most impactful of my life. Is that odd to say. Well it's true, I'd be lying if I said it were different. For now we are enjoying our snuggle time and I am making sure he doesn't hurt, that's all I can do.