I think it's good news

I had my US and Bloodwork yesterday which was day 8 of my cycle day 5 of stims.

I had 10 follicles and an E2 of 909 with a nice lining over 8! The only negative was one follicle was already at 15..and the others ranged from 6 - 12. Most were 8-10. So my RE was happy that I responded but not happy about that leading follice at 15. I go in tomorrow to see how everythings going. She said we may have to sacrifice that follicle which I understood to mean it would grow too large by the time the others catch up - but with 9 others, I have to say I am pleased. I was expecting to A. Be Cancelled. B. Have some other strange problem I hadn't heard of yet. So this was all good to me. I just hope it continues tomorrow.

DH and I went away overnight and I had to do the shots in the hotel rm. It was fine. I did get a little obsessive about germs but I tried to reign it in.

In other news, I AM BLOATED. It's not pretty. I have a rubber band holding my pants together and the only reason I don't have my pajamas on is we have a guy working on some electrical so I felt the need to be more clothed.

The other issue I am having is with fatigue. I could literally lay down and go to sleep right now..in fact I may do that as soon as the electrician leaves. How am I going to get through work next week though...literally eyes closing as I type.

I'll post an update tomorrow. Hurdle 1 down...1M to go.

My purple belly...or "That can't be right!"

Two days into the 6 shots a day regimen and I am not doing well. When it was just the Lupron..that was cake! Oh how I miss those days.

The Menopur burns and thanks to it I have this lovely bruise.

I just need to get to Sat. US and see where I am and I think that will make me feel better. I always need milestones. Make it to Saturday...then make it to the next US..and then fingers crossed retrieval or maybe another US then retrieval..

So that's where I am. I'm exhausted I think that must be from the meds and I have terrible terrible leg and foot cramps which I read up on and started drinking some electrolyte drink. Apparently these drugs can mess with your liquids balance and I have been super thirsty so it's definitely off with me.

I almost passed out

I got a little too cocky. I have been doing the Lupron shots since Sunday and today I added the Menopur and Gonal F...MFER! The Menopur stings like nobodies business.

I got all of my shots ready, measured, qcaps, alcohol wipes, ice cube..."oh I don't need the ice today. The Luprons been so easy"....So I started with the Menopur and it hurt a little, then it hurt more, then I was like Oh crap I wish I used the ice. Then I thought "ok let's just get the other two overwith and you can go have your pretend coffee" So I lined up the Lupron and started. I had the needle in my belly when I started to black out. Dude...sit down when you give the shots, that's all I'm saying. That's my advice to the world. You never know when you're bodies going to say, "What the fuck are you doing, sticking needles and stinging liquid in my..bellllllyyyyyyyyyy...aaaarrggghhhh...."

So I made it over to the bed and laid down for a few minutes. I guess sometimes it doesn't matter how strong our resolve is, sometimes our bodies have something else in mind. The thing is, I'm the one you want in an emergency. I once jumped out of my car onto the highway to help someone who'd just been in an accident while my friend who's a nurse sat in the car..not sure what to do. So I'm the one...unless I have the slightest drop of blood coming out of me...and then I'm the hysterical one, passing out on the floor.

So I managed to get the meds all in. 225 Gonal F, 10 Lupron, 75 Fucking Menopur. Apparently I'm on the Microdose Lupron Flare protocol, for non responders...and my FSH is at it's highest. 12.9. That's with the acupuncture, meditation and sprouted grain totally no fun diet.

When I had my US on Sunday my Dr said, "Are you excited" In a super excited tone. I shook my head, then realized she was wanting more...so I said "Yes of course" in my own perky fake tone.

I am excited at the prospect of it working, but that's out of my hands. I can't decide if I am at acceptance or apathy or self protection.

If I get a live child at the end of this, I will laugh at my post above. If I don't or get something worse, to live through another loss, then I will look at the above as such wisdom.

One thing I am getting out of this, is I could give a shot like a champ. I know to sit down when giving myself shots. I know I can handle a lot of crap thrown my way and there's some comfort in that. Cause life tends to throw crap..kind of like a monkey at the zoo and you just don't know when it's going to come at you. So you have to get good at ducking and running.

I hope no poo gets thrown at you today. :)