Bitter fruit?

I don't know what on earth is my issue today. I am bitter bitter bitter. Bitter that I am blown up and bloated like a macy's day float. Bitter that I have to wait 10 more days to test. Bitter that I have to wonder if I will have another miscarriage..wait let's just get to the pee stick and go from there. I want these 10 days to go quickly and at the same time I am terrified of either outcome. How do I continue to do this? How much longer will I be able to continue if this cycle is negative or worse..? Here's to a better outlook tomorrow. I am meeting some friends for dinner, so hopefully that will cheer me up. A restaurant with mirrors on the ceiling..how fun is that. I really will look like a macy's float!